


The Love of a Mayfly

by MelyndaR



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode: s02e04 Elogium, Episode: s03e21 Before and After, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23934721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelyndaR/pseuds/MelyndaR
Summary: Kes entered Tom's living room, starting to pace his quarters now, and when she heard the doors swish closed after her entry, she announced, “I need you to have sex with me for the next six days.”Tom's eyes bugged, and he gaped at her, but he didn’t turn her down flat, which told her that maybe she’d been right in her suspicion. Or, more accurately, that Neelix had been right in his.
Relationships: Kes/Tom Paris
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story starts during the events of "Elogium" with my own twist on what happens, and then continues over the next few months.

_ 2371: _

Kes came to the realization suddenly, wide awake in the middle of _Voyager_ ’s fabricated nighttime as she paced restlessly across the space at the end of Neelix’s bed. She loved Neelix, she knew that, but it was a love that had changed with her time aboard _Voyager._ She’d grown, and her growth as an individual was the only reason why she was even mildly alright now, with the elogium coursing through her years early. Her growth was the only reason she was considering having children at all.

But with her growth, she had to admit that she was seeing an increasing number of things in Neelix that worried her. He got jealous _so_ easily, and she knew it was because of his own lack of self-confidence, but it was still there. And he had a temper. And he treated her like she was a child, and maybe that, too, came from a good place, but it was still there, and it all added up to a display of childishness in him that concerned her as she considered him as a candidate for fatherhood.

When she looked at it through a certain lens of logic, when she looked at it from the viewpoint of who she wanted the father of her children to be, what qualities she wanted him to possess, she was startled to realize that, deep in her bones, she knew she didn’t want to have children with Neelix. He would be the _best_ “fun uncle,” but she just couldn’t convince herself that he would be a good father.

_ Did that mean that she  _ wasn’t _going to have children, then?_

She was shocked when the thought almost brought tears to her eyes. _No, she wanted children._

_ How, then, if not with Neelix? _

Her thoughts leapt to the only mother aboard _Voyager_ – Ensign Samantha Wildman. Not everyone knew about Samantha’s pregnancy yet, but Kes’ work in sickbay got her special access to the crew’s medical files, so she knew, and she knew that the brave, quiet woman was entirely prepared to take motherhood by the horns, entirely on her own as her situation called for. 

_ Could she do that herself? Be a single mother? _

_ That could work. She could do that. _

_ But, then again came the question: by who, if not Neelix? Who was she comfortable going through the mating bond with, and then very possibly raising children without? Who did she think would be willing to be intimate with her, but less willing to help her raise children? _

They were a series of strange, tangled questions as they ran through her mind… and yet she still came up with an answer.

* * *

She sat on the edge of Neelix’s bed for what felt like hours – and maybe it was – just watching him, _willing_ him to wake so that they could talk. So that she could do what was best for herself, and for her potential children, and break up with him. By the time he woke up, she was a sweating, jittering mess, and he really wasn’t even _fully_ awake before she was taking his hand and spilling out her tangled thoughts, feeling them untangle into a certainty in her mind as she spoke.

Too quickly for Neelix to process what she’d said, in a way that she knew was entirely unfair to him, she left him alone, gaping, and very much broken-up with as soon as she’d said her piece. She could explain her thoughts better to him after the elogium had passed anyway, and right now she had to hurry lest the elogium pass before she’d even mated with the man she could only _hope_ would accept her terms.

* * *

Kes knew she looked pathetic as the doors to his quarters slid open, but she blurted out anyway, “I need your help.” 

“Kes!” he yelped, hurrying forward as if to help her, but freezing halfway there – probably when he noticed the temporarily-changed color of her eyes. “What can I do?” Tom Paris asked, his arms still outstretched to assist her, but his face filled with confusion that meant he had no idea how to.

She entered his living room, starting to pace _his_ quarters now, and when she heard the doors swish closed after her entry, she announced, “I need you to have sex with me for the next six days.”

His eyes bugged, and he gaped at her, but he didn’t turn her down flat, which told her that maybe she’d been right in her suspicion. Or, more accurately, that Neelix had been right in his. “Why?” he asked slowly. Then, “Why me? And does this have something to do with the doc giving you sudden medical leave from your duty shifts?”

“You know about that?” Kes asked in surprise.

Tom nodded, pointing out, “Someone has had to cover your shifts, and I’m the lucky guy who’s been pulling double shifts to do it.”

Kes winced. “I’m sorry.” Then she whirled to face him, adding, “But this way, I can get us _both_ out of work for almost a whole week!”

“To have sex with you,” Tom slowly repeated her earlier statement, bringing them full circle in their disconnected conversation.

Kes nodded. “And there will be things that happen after that, if everything goes right, but I can handle that on my own.”

“Kes.” Tom hesitated, as if he didn’t want to ask, but then questioned the obvious anyway, “What about Neelix?”

She shook her head jerkily, knowing her movements were growing more erratic as her window of opportunity started to end. “He wouldn’t do what I need him to do, and, besides, I just broke up with him.”

“Kes,” Tom said again, imploring now, and far more hesitant than she’d expected him to be. 

“ _Please_ , Tom!” she begged, knowing her desperation was coming through as she tried to make him understand. “I’m running out of time!”

He paled. “What do you mean ‘running out of—'”

“Please,” Kes repeated on a breath, marching up to him and barely restraining herself from grabbing at the front of his jacket to punctuate her point. “I need you!”

They were true in all the ways that statement could be taken, and this was wrong in some way that she was rapidly starting to be unable to put her finger on – _she hadn’t given him enough information, but there wasn’t time, there just wasn’t time; like with Neelix, a better explanation would have to come later._ Right now, she just needed Tom Paris to do what she’d asked of him.

He must’ve finally seen at least that much in her discolored eyes, because he murmured “okay, Kes; it’s okay, I’ve got you,” then tapped his comm badge, announcing without preamble or further explanation, “Lieutenant Paris to Captain Janeway, I’m going to have to take a few days off on medical leave. Kes has cleared me for the next six days to be duty-free.”

He was obligingly kissing Kes before Captain Janeway could even start to remind him that Kes was unable to declare people unfit for duty.


	2. Chapter 2

Amid sex-crazed space bugs and Kes’ own recent sexual awakening, the crew had momentarily forgotten that it was the time of the winter solstice for the humans aboard, and as they remembered, the overarching mood on the ship became… strange. Some crewman were far more emotional, clearly missing their loved ones more than normal, others were more jovial, caught up in what Captain Janeway had informed her was known as “Christmas spirit.”

Like those merry crewmembers, Kes had reason to be especially happy this time of year, though she knew her reason was different than theirs. 

Four days after her elogium’s ending, Kes discovered that her time spent mating with Tom Paris had worked. _She was carrying children!_ And she was thrilled.

But she wasn’t the only one spending her days with her emotions effected by something besides Christmas spirit. Neelix had spent the past five days unrepentantly sulking – first in sickbay, without even giving Kes time to get her thoughts totally straight, and then around the mess hall once the Doctor had barred him from sickbay. While the elogium had momentarily skewered her thought processes, though, Kes could feel herself returning mentally to normal, and normally she wasn’t cruel. 

She needed to talk to Neelix. Even while under the effects of the elogium, she knew she would have to, and it was time to stop putting it off. So, twisting her hands and screwing up her courage, she walked into the mess hall, late enough at night that she could reasonably hope he would be the only one there. Besides Baxter, playing chess alone on the opposite side of the room, Neelix was, thankfully, alone.

And surprised to see her, if the look on his face was any indication as she stepped into the jaundiced light coming from his kitchen.

“Kes!” Neelix set a pan down with a little too much force, his bright chef’s hat at odds with his baffled expression as he asked, “What brings you here, sweetie?”

Kes shot him a warning look. “Neelix, don’t. I told you,” she reminded him as gently as she could of what he very well knew. “I don’t want to be with you anymore. Not like that. I want us to still be friends, but the elogium changed me – hopefully for the better – and I’m not… I’m not in a place where I want to be in a relationship right now.”

He swept his hat off his head then, frustration flashing across his features as he asked, “So… we’re just done, then, just like that?”

“Yes,” she answered simply, knowing she was hurting him and not sure she could find a way around it without hurting him even further by the time the conversation was over.

“But _why_?”

_ Alright, apparently, she was going to have to go the painfully honest route.  _

“Neelix,” she put her hands carefully down on the counter between them, a subtle way of steadying herself, reminding herself to stand her ground. “When I was considering having children, I realized something. I realized… how… flawed our relationship was. That we weren’t equals in it, not really, that you saw me as a sort of child, as someone to be forever protected, and I know you think it comes from a good place, and maybe it does, but that’s not what I want in my life, and that’s not what I want from the father of my children. And you have a temper, and you’re jealous, and whenever you become either of those things, you… you get nearly unreasonable, or at least beyond my reach, and that’s certainly not something I want from the man I’m going to spend my life with, if I ever find that man. I’m sorry, I know I have my own faults, but… you asked me for my thoughts, and I told you what they were.”

Kes watched him and could see the need to lash out growing in his eyes. So, she waited. Better to let him say what he wanted to say and start to get over it than leave him to stew for an even longer indeterminate period of time.

After a moment, he released a huff, saying, “And now look at what it got you: no relationship – which you say is how you want it – and no children, either. Looks like we both lost everything. But maybe that’s how you want _that_ , too.”

He took his pan and turned his back to her before she could even decide if she wanted to correct him or not. 

His words didn’t hurt – in his childish rage they barely made _sense_ – but his bitter tone and hard expression stung. 

Kes bit her lip and turned away from him before she could be drawn into an argument.

* * *

“Kes?” Predictably, the next day, the Doctor was the first one to very carefully note the obvious. “Why hasn’t your mitral sac shrunken?”

For the past couple days, she’d managed her own medical care, done her own fetal scans, but when the Doctor brought it up, it seemed like as good a time as any to tell him the truth.

She turned to him, handing him the tray of hypospray tubes she’d refilled at his request. Giving him a giddy little smile, she demanded, “Guess.”

He stared at her, confusion and then concern knitting his brow before he asked in disbelief, “You’re _pregnant_?!”

Just as Tom sauntered into the room, announcing, “Reporting for du—” When Tom caught the end of the Doctor’s exclamation, his eyes bugged much as they had when Kes had asked him for sex. “What?” he asked, stepping further into the room as he asked Kes, “You’re pregnant?”

Nerves spiked in Kes’ stomach now that Tom had, with spectacularly bad timing, added himself to the conversation, but she tried her best not to let it show as she nodded, her gaze flitting between him and the Doctor as she kept her now-tumultuous smile in place.

Tom was looking at her, his gaze filled with worry and a question that was obvious to the two of them, as the Doctor said in confusion, “I was under the impression you broke up with Mr. Neelix _before_ you could mate with anyone.”

“I did,” Kes agreed. “That is,” she looked to the Doctor, licking her lips nervously. “I broke up with Neelix before I could mate with _Neelix_.”

“Kes!” Tom suddenly demanded, taking her arm in a grip that was gentle but still unbreakable as he spun her around to face him, moving so that she had to meet his gaze and see the question that was still burning in his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Seeing the answer to his question in the nervous way Kes looked at him, Tom released her with a shocked laugh, spinning away to put a hand over his eyes with his back to her and the Doctor. The Doctor looked between Kes and Tom in confusion for a moment, before Kes watched the truth dawn on him.

“You!” he spat in Tom’s direction, with his pointer finger raised towards the lieutenant in distinct ire.

Tom held up his hands defensively. “I found out when you did, Doc!”

“But you had to know what you were doing when you—when you two—”

“I just thought I was helping her,” Tom waved, distraught, towards Kes, though the two men were talking as if she weren’t even there. “I thought it was like the Vulcan thing that was mentioned at the academy or something.”

The Doctor shot him a baffled, disgusted look. “You thought that a species with a nine-year lifespan would have something akin to a _pon farr_? Come n—”

“Doctor?” 

At the timid question from the sickbay doorway, the Doctor wheeled around to face… poor Ensign Wildman had walked in at some point during this conversation, and Kes wasn’t sure she wanted to know how long she’d been there, how much she’d heard.

“Yes, ensign?” the Doctor asked, trying his best to sound like he wasn’t at the end of his patience.

“I’m here for my first weekly prenatal checkup,” Ensign Wildman replied, her gaze darting around the room as she tried to gauge the tension that hung palpably in the air.

The Doctor drew in a deep breath, turning his attention – as a good doctor always should – towards his patient. “Of course, ensign. Come in.” He gestured her to the bio-bed farthest from Kes and Tom. “Lie there, please.” Once Ensign Wildman was heading away from them, the Doctor turned back to Tom and Kes, issuing a thinly-disguised order in a whisper as he said, “I will leave you two to deal with whatever this is that has gone on or is going on between you, but you both—” he said while shooting Tom a steely, suspicious glare. “Had best still be here when I return.”

Despite the Doctor’s orders, the first thing Tom did once the Doctor was at Ensign Wildman’s side was turn away from Kes and stalk back to the sickbay doors. He got as far as the doorway before he stopped, slamming a hand against the metal doorjamb.

Kes winced, reminding him quietly, “I told you: you’ve done everything I need you to do; I can handle the rest.”

Tom whirled to face her, anger and hurt warring in his expression as he asked quietly, “You mean raise _our child_ by yourself?”

Kes nodded, hating that she already knew the truth would aggravate him further.

But she was wrong. Her answer didn’t anger him further. Worse, his expression fell into one of abject, complete pain as he asked, “What exactly do you think I am?”

“Tom,” she attempted falteringly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you or insult you. I just…” she sighed, started over. “You weren’t entirely wrong about your pon farr theory. Elogium certainly changes the body chemistry of Ocampan females, me included. At the time, I was hyper-focused on children – having children, who I wanted as the father of my children, how I wanted to raise children, things like that were practically _all_ I could think about. And this isn’t an excuse, because I am sorry that I hurt you, but in that state, I knew two things. I realized I didn’t want children to be raised under Neelix’s controlling nature, but, without Neelix, I knew that you were the next-most-likely man willing to… give me children.”

Tom paced a length, then turned to face her again, talking as he moved closer. “Look, Kes, I know I flirted with you, and I know it was while you were with Neelix, and that’s on me, but I thought you understood that it was all in fun. I didn’t realize you thought I was some—some sort of playboy man-whore.”

“I don’t!” Kes promised, eyes glittering with pain as she grappled with how to make him understand. “I wasn’t thinking straight!”

“But now,” Tom pointed out. “When you’re supposedly thinking straight – right? – you’re still standing by those… convoluted thoughts?”

Kes sighed, crossing her arms defensively as she murmured, “I don’t want to trap you in a situation you don’t want.”

Finally Tom approached her and stayed put, lines of worry still creasing his brow but gaze steady and sincere as he said, “If you’re having my child, Kes, I _want_ to be there for you both through that. Okay?”

She nodded, taking him at his word, and warily beginning to ease her guard back down. “Okay.”

* * *

Tom Paris was a good friend, Kes had known that practically since she’d come aboard _Voyager_ , but he proved it unfailingly over the next week. By the thirteenth day of her pregnancy, the mitral sac between her shoulders had grown unmistakably with her – _their_ – offspring inside of it, but surprisingly few people had asked her what was happening with her own body. She was growing tired of the curious stares they gave her instead, but Tom seemed unaffected by those stares whenever the two of them were together.

Which was a more frequent occurrence than it had once been. He had, for example, developed a habit of asking her if she wanted to accompany him whenever he went to the mess hall, and she knew it was his way of trying to shield her from Neelix’s continued irritation. She didn’t need the layer of protection that he gave her, but she appreciated it, nonetheless.

His presence, though, had made things worse with Neelix, because after they had eaten together so many times, Kes watched understanding, and bubbling anger, rise in her ex-boyfriend’s eyes every time he saw them together. This, too, Tom managed to brush off where Kes found she couldn’t quite do the same. She wanted to remain friends with Neelix, but that was becoming an increasingly small possibility when she only went to the mess hall with Tom, and Neelix avoided talking to them when they were together. Even in the halls, when she tried to talk to Neelix, it was awkward. Kes hated it, and she didn’t know what to do about it, but, frankly, she had little enough time to prepare for the arrival of her – _their_ – offspring that she didn’t have enough _time_ to worry too much about Neelix also.

_ A small mercy,  _ she decided, shoving thoughts of their wilting friendship aside as she stepped into sickbay for her duty shift.


	4. Chapter 4

“Good morning, Doctor,” Kes greeted the Doctor, firmly putting herself into as cheerful a mindset as ever.

“Good morning, Kes,” he replied, alarmingly even more cheerful than she was as he turned to her with a bright smile and declared, “It’s prenatal morning!”

She paused. “I… don’t understand.”

“Ensign Wildman is coming in for her weekly appointment shortly, and after that it’s your turn.”

_ That was news to her. _ “You discussed prenatal care with me last week, Doctor, when you found out about my condition. It was after Ensign Wildman left then, too, remember?”

“Yes, but the point of _weekly_ checkups is that they happen every week, wouldn’t you agree? You’re already going to be here, anyway, so I don’t see why it particularly matters.”

_ True. She just wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what she was fairly certain he was going to tell her. But… she wanted to take the best possible care of hers and Tom’s offspring, so…  _ “Of course, Doctor.”

“Good. Now, if you could prep bio-bed one with the things I’ll need for Ensign Wildman’s checkup, I’m going to be in my office.”

She nodded, moving to do as he’d asked, and in a few minutes, Ensign Wildman joined them in sickbay. It was a relatively short process for Samantha, Kes knew, and she could only hope that her own checkup went as quickly and smoothly. The Doctor came out of his office, asked Samantha a few questions as he ran his scans, and when she assured him that she was feeling fine, the Doctor cleared her to go.

Kes walked her to the door, saying brightly, “See you next week!”

At the same time Samantha began, “If you don’t mind my—oh.”

“Sorry,” Kes said with a smile, before asking, “’If I don’t mind’ what?”

“If you don’t mind my asking, you’ve said before that it’s okay for me to ask you questions about your species?”

“Yes, of course!” That was how she had even become friends with the xenobiologist in the first place. _Besides, if she talked to Samantha, she could put off her own appointment with the Doctor._

“Your back,” Samantha asked. “Is that growth something that happens to your species, or—I hope you’re not sick, are you?”

Kes put a hand on Samantha’s arm, smiling again to soothe the worry that flared on her friend’s face. “No, I’m not sick. Thank you for asking, though, instead of just… gawking.”

Samantha nodded, relaxing already. “Oh, good. May I ask what it is, then? I wasn’t going to question you about it, but when I passed you in the hallway this morning, I thought I glimpsed it… moving.”

Kes’ mouth dropped open, her eyes starting to gleam. “Really? I didn’t know if it would be yet, and I can’t feel the movements anyway, unless they’re turned inward toward my spine, but… really? You saw movement?”

The Doctor watched her excitement with a small smile on his face, but Samantha only looked increasingly more confused. As Tom walked in the door, she answered, “Yes. In fact,” she took a second to peer at Kes’ shoulders. “It’s moving now.”

“What’s moving?” Tom asked, the same confusion on his face as was on Samantha’s.

“The mitral sac,” Kes explained. “Would you like to feel it?” She turned her back to her friends, saying again, “It does me no good, but you can feel it if you’d like.”

“’Mitral sac,’” Samantha had caught that much, and Kes could tell she was placing it in their conversations about Ocampan biology. Her eyes widened when she remembered. “Kes… are you…?”

Kes nodded, almost laughing with the joy that it all filled her with.

“Oh, Kes!” Samantha gasped happily. “You could’ve told me!” She hugged her, teasing, “We could’ve been commiserating, you know. Now my baby will have someone to grow up with!”

“Not quite,” Kes said apologetically. “I’m already halfway through the gestation period, and Ocampan children reach young adulthood in a year. By the time your baby is born, mine will be half-grown.”

Samantha paused for a second, absorbing that, Kes could tell – she also noted a strangled noise coming from Tom at Samantha’s side – and then the xenobiologist asked her, “Do you have any idea how lucky you are?”

Turning to look at Samantha and Tom, there was a sudden, prickling realization along the back of Kes’ neck that Samantha meant about more than just her gestation period. Samantha Wildman may have been a quiet woman, but she was almost deceptively observant sometimes, and she’d been in the room when Kes and Tom had first discussed Kes’ pregnancy. To add to that, Kes knew that word had been spreading through the rumor mill about her breakup with Neelix and how much time she and Tom had been spending together. Kes had personally ignored the rumors, but that didn’t mean that everyone – including Samantha – had. 

“Luckier than I have any right to be,” Kes admitted, but before the excitement in the air could be sucked away, she turned her back to Samantha again and asked, “Can you really feel them move?”

Samantha ran her hand over the mitral sac, saying with a smile, “Yes, I can. I think… there’s one foot, two feet…” The cheerfulness in Samantha’s tone turned to concern in the next instant as she said, “Doctor?”

“What is it?” the Doctor asked, a line of worry already appearing between his brows as he stepped forward.

Kes, on the other hand, only stifled a sigh. “What it is, if I’m right, is perfectly normal. Simple mathematics, really.”

“What on earth do you mean?” the Doctor asked, snatching up a tricorder and scanning her head and mitral sac. 

“Mathematics because if, in a species with only one chance at conception, only one child is born each generation, the species would die out after a time. Do you understand? Multiple births are commonplace among the Ocampan.”

“Multiple _what_?” Tom asked sharply, but at least he was participating in the conversation.

“Twins, Mr. Paris,” the Doctor announced crisply, turning the tricorder so that Tom could see the results of the genetic scan he’d quickly ran. Two sets of human-Ocampan DNA were clearly displayed in the readings.


	5. Chapter 5

“Twins,” Tom repeated dumbly, the wild look that had started simmering in his eyes only getting worse.

Kes reached for him, repeating patiently, “It’s perfectly normal,” but he took a step back before she could touch his arm.

“ _Twins_ who will be here in—in you said _two weeks_?!” He was breathing heavier, and Kes’ face fell as he kept backing towards the door to sickbay. 

She was suddenly knocked in the stomach with just how much she’d abandoned her original plan of single parenthood, with just how much she wanted Tom on this journey alongside her. She reached out again, this time making sure she caught his wrist as she promised him, “Yes, but we’re _going to be alright_. You and I, we’ve got this all under control, right? Two against two doesn’t even leave us outnumbered,” she coaxed.

Watching pessimistically, Ensign Wildman stepped over to the sickbay door with the bearing of a security officer on watch.

Tracking the ensign’s movements, Tom shook his head, drawing a breath. “It’s okay, Sam, I’m not that cruel… or that stupid.”

“Good.” Samantha relaxed only marginally, informing Tom, “Because if you tried to be, I’d have to hurt you.”

“Evidently there will be a line,” Tom muttered, glancing at the Doctor and thinking something Kes didn’t understand as he turned back to her and reminded, “I told you I would be here for this, and I will be, I just… twins in two weeks? After I only found out a week ago that we were having a baby at all? That’s a lot. I just… need a second, that’s all.”

“Let me come with you?” Kes requested.

“Not before I can check you over properly,” the Doctor interjected. “You can take an hour out of your duty shift to smooth this over if you feel you must, but I will see you properly looked over _first_.”

“Speaking of looking over,” Kes suddenly realized, turning to Tom as the moment of panic in them both began to pass. “What are you doing here? You don’t need ‘looking over’ do you?”

“No.” Tom squeezed her hand, though she had to admit she wasn’t even sure when he’d taken it. “Doc told me you had an appointment this morning, and I wanted to be here for it. If that’s okay?”

“It’s perfectly okay,” Kes replied with a smile.

Samantha smiled at the two of them, saying, “You two have fun dealing with each other, then. I’m going to work. And Kes?”

“Yes?”

“Let me know if you need anything at all, alright?”

“You do the same,” Kes replied, and once Samantha was gone, she turned to the Doctor and said resolutely, “Go ahead, Doctor.”

“Finally,” the Doctor muttered, though he was far more worried about her than he was put-out by any disruption in his plans as he ordered, “Lie back on bio-bed two, please.” 

He ran a few more scans, asking her questions similar to the ones he’d asked Ensign Wildman. 

Once the Doctor had declared Kes and the twins to be in good health for one more week, he said, “My final question of your visit: do you or do you not wish to know the sexes of your babies?”

“Well,” Kes admitted, glancing at Tom. “I was planning on asking, yes. If you’d like to find out, Tom?”

“I would,” Tom agreed. “And it’s a good thing, too, Doc.”

“Why is that?”

“Did you notice how you phrased your question?” 

The Doctor gaze Tom a puzzled look. “I suppose not.”

“You said ‘sex _es_ of your babies. Which _sounds_ like there’s one of each. Is that correct?”

The Doctor smiled approvingly at Tom’s observation, confirming, “There is.”

“How sweet!” Kes cooed excitedly.

Taking the Doctor up on his offer of allowing her an hour off work, she walked out of sickbay with Tom while the two of them discussed baby names as if their earlier miscommunications and panic had never happened. But it had.

“Do you wanna go to the holodeck?” Tom asked with a strangely contemplative look on his face.

Kes knew they needed to talk, but a part of her wanted to shy away from whatever he was thinking, and so she shook her head, countering instead, “Walk through the aeroponics bay with me?”

“If that’s what you want,” Tom agreed, but something like disappointment flashed through his eyes as he took her hand. Again.

And this time, Kes noticed.

She wasn’t about to pull away, though, squeezing his hand as well as she could with her smaller one as she led him into the aeroponics bay. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath of the earth-scented air, rolling her shoulders as she relaxed. She was _always_ able to relax here, and, selfishly, she had wanted to be in her “happy place” for this conversation instead of his. 

Kes almost frowned as she saw her self-centeredness for what it was, but when she glanced at Tom, he certainly didn’t seem to mind being here. In fact, he was watching her with that same carefully contemplative look on his face.

“What is it?” she asked cautiously, walking backwards so that she could face him as she led him down familiar rows of fruits, vegetables and slightly more frivolous flowers.

“I need you to understand something,” he said frankly, and she could feel any chance at a light-hearted or even normal conversation slipping away. _Ah, well. If he had something to say that was this important to him, shouldn’t she listen when he felt the need to say it?_

“Alright.” She stopped, leaning in to breathe in the sweet scent wafting from a lavender plant. “What is it?”

He hesitated, and when she looked up at him, he was watching her with a half-dazed expression… in a way not unlike how Neelix had looked at her when they’d first met. “Tom?” she asked, ignoring the butterflies taking wing in her own stomach. Smiling gently, she prompted, “What’s on your mind?”

Tom shook his head, seemingly clearing it of whatever had distracted him as he took an unnecessary step closer to her. “I was going over the conversation we had last week in sickbay. When you… told me about the twins.”

“What about it?” Kes asked carefully.

“I think I may have said some things that gave you the wrong impression, and I want to clarify what I meant.”

“Alright,” she agreed, hesitant to relive the unpleasantness that most of that conversation had been. “I’m listening.”


	6. Chapter 6

“I think I recall telling you that I flirted with you as some sort of game,” Tom began.

“You did,” Kes agreed.

“But I don’t think I said that right,” he continued. “Or… I think I gave you the wrong impression. I did flirt with you, and that is on me, and we both know I never expected anything to come of it, but… Kes, I only ever flirted with you in the first place because I _do_ like you. It’s a form of self-hatred, I guess, letting myself become intrigued by someone I thought I never had a chance with, but… now… if you’re not with Neelix anymore… Kes, before anybody else tries to have this conversation with you, I wanna know whether or not I have a chance with you. A real one, I mean.”

Kes found herself frozen in surprise for a moment, processing what he’d said before she dared to give voice to a question that had bothered her since the elogium had cleared from her mind. “What about Lieutenant Torres?”

Tom shook his head. “B’Elanna and I… are very different people, and we’re very _busy_ people, and, practically, it just doesn’t work. I won’t lie and say there wasn’t interest there; there was, but we never even went out on a real date, and it just… became abundantly clear to me that her work is more important to her than a relationship will ever be. Which is fine, it just meant that I… let go of the idea of her, you know?”

“And what if you ‘let go of the idea of’ me?” Kes asked cautiously. “Since you make it sound so simple?”

Again, Tom shook his head. “B’Elanna and I were never going to work. I see that now.” He blew out a breath, admitting, “But I wouldn’t be here, saying these things, if I didn’t think there was a real chance that you and I could work. I want to try, Kes, but only if you do, and if you need time, after Neelix, then that’s fine, too. If you want me to be, I’ll be here waiting whenever you’re ready.”

Kes was already shaking her head at the idea of needing time to get over Neelix. The way that he’d acted the past couple of weeks had already cleared all romantic thoughts of him far from her head, and she admitted that freely, saying, “I want to try to find a way to stay friends with Neelix, but I don’t need time to… recover from our relationship, or to get over him.”

“So,” Tom asked worriedly, his brow furrowed. “Where does that leave me?”

“Well,” Kes replied with a slow smile. “If this goes the way _we_ want it to, I think it leaves you as the father of my children… and my significant other.”

Tom blinked at her, making sure he’d heard her correctly before he said with his own dawning smile, “That sounds perfect.”

“I was hoping it might,” Kes admitted before waving him closer, saying in an apparent change of subject, “Come here and look at this lavender.”

He blinked in surprise, but obliged, leaning down so that his face was even with hers as he asked curiously, “What about it?”

“Nothing,” she grinned, turning his face so that she could kiss him. “I just wanted you where I could reach you.”

“Here,” he murmured against her lips, kissing her a second time as he wrapped his hands around her waist and lifted her easily off her feet. “Let me help you with that.”

* * *

The week leading up to Christmas was a blissful one for Kes as she spent less time working in sickbay and the aeroponics bay and more time preparing to have two infants in her life. 

On one particularly memorable afternoon, she’d entered her quarters to find Tom already there, putting together two bassinets. Except he’d replicated the parts for both at one time, and proceeded to get them hopelessly jumbled together, so she had spent the rest of the day with him, helping him decipher the mess he’d made, and then put the bassinets together properly.

Kes was glad to discover that they made a good team. He appreciated her bright outlook, but didn’t infantilize her for it, and gave her the room to be as mature as she felt she was, lifespan be _thoroughly_ damned. She, in turn, was willing to let him explore his zany ideas and adventures, even going with him sometimes, but she wasn’t afraid to tell him when she thought he was going too far with something, either. They struck a good balance with one another, and he treated her as more of an equal than most aboard _Voyager_ , often in their attempt at kindness, had ever thought to.

She found herself rapidly falling from infatuation into a steadier sort of love that nearly caught her off-guard with how quickly it came over her. But Kes had long ago aligned herself with the idea that she wasn’t going to live long enough to go into anything slowly. Her relationship with Tom was no exception.

The only thing that seemed to match the progression of their relationship in speed, she discovered that same week, was _Voyager_ ’s rumor mill. In no time at all, it seemed everyone knew she and Tom were a couple. Few people so much as looked at them sideways about it, and even less seemed caught by surprise at the news.

When she commented on their crewmates’ easy acceptance of their relationship while she and Tom were at her next prenatal visit with the Doctor, the EMH looked between the two of them for a moment, debating something before he sighed and said, “From what I’ve gathered, once it was known that you and Mr. Neelix were no longer together, Ensign Kim _immediately_ took it upon himself to start a betting pool regarding how long it would take you two to… become an item.”

“Really?” Tom scoffed. “Harry did that?”

The Doctor nodded, pointing out dryly, “Almost as if he had an inside source who had let him know of your interest in my assistant.”

Tom rubbed the back of his neck, looking away as he muttered, “I wonder who that might’ve been?”

“Indeed.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes, and Kes chuckled, asking, “Do you know who won the contents of the betting pool?”

The Doctor froze before he smirked in a very self-satisfied manner and declared, “I’ll never tell.”

“Oh, _really_ , Doc?” Tom asked, grinning at the hologram. “Well, I’m glad to know that there’s at least some part of you that approves of our relationship.”

The Doctor tried and failed to give Tom a withering look as he said airily, “Consider the admission my Christmas present to you, Mr. Paris.”


	7. Chapter 7

_ New Year’s Eve, 2371-2372 _

“Are you sure you won’t go?” Tom asked Kes, surprise and disappointment warring in his expression. “If you’re worried about Neelix, I’m sure even he will be in good spirits at a New Year’s party of his own making.”

Kes shook her head, promising, “I’m not worried about Neelix; I’m just tired, and the idea of staying up until midnight just doesn’t appeal to me right now.”

“That’s not like you, though,” Tom pointed out, kneeling in front of where she was sitting on her couch as he asked, “Do you _really_ not feel well? Like ‘call the Doc and take me to sickbay’ levels of not well? Or ‘I need my boyfriend to have an evening in with me’ le—”

“I _feel_ ,” Kes assured him. “’I could give birth to your children at any minute’ levels of tired. Just tired. But that’s no reason for you to miss the party. Go. Have fun. I know you’re just one comm tap away if I need you.” She cupped Tom’s cheek in her hand, kissing him goodbye before she gently pushed him away with her fingertips. “The little ones and I will be fine.”

“Okay,” he replied, standing to his feet and giving her one more smile before he left. As he walked out, he ordered firmly, “But you comm me if you need anything at all.”

“I will,” Kes promised distractedly, already standing from the couch to turn in for the evening with no plans to have further contact with anyone that night, despite what she’d automatically promised.

* * *

Kes’ plans changed.

She woke at about 2300 hours to an unusually comfortable looseness in her shoulders that hadn’t been there all month thanks to the mitral sac. When she rolled her shoulders, trying while still half asleep to figure out what was going on, she could feel her skin starting to stretch and split along the sac.

Awareness danced up her spine, and she was awake in an instant, sitting up and snatching her comm badge from the bedside table. “Kes to the Doctor and Lieutenant Paris. I’m coming to sickbay.”

“Why?” the Doctor asked as Kes stood up, taking an afghan from the end of the bed and wrapping it around her shoulders as she started out of her quarters. All the better to conceal the irregular rippling worming between her shoulders that might be off-putting to some of her crewmates.

At the same time, Tom asked, “What’s the matter?”

“I think I’m in labor.” 

“Oh,” Tom said thinly. “As long as you’re just in labor.”

A new voice came over Kes’ comm, then, saying with a smile in her tone. “Janeway to Kes: he’s on his way. I’ll see him there myself if I that’s what it takes to make sure he gets there without passing out.”

“Captain?” Kes asked impulsively as she stepped into the hall.

“Yes?”

“Could you? Come with Tom to sickbay, I mean.”

There was a beat, and then Captain Janeway answered genuinely, “I would be honored. We’ll be there in three minutes.”

“Thank you.”

As promised, three minutes later, Kes had barely made it into sickbay herself when Tom, the captain, Samantha Wildman, and Ensign Kim all poured into the room from the hall.

Seeing Kes’ confused look, the Doctor announced firmly, “You are not all staying.”

“You’re right,” Ensign Kim agreed, carrying a metal rack into the room. “I’m not. I’m just here with Kes’ Christmas present. I assume you don’t mind it being a bit late, Kes?”

Kes smiled falteringly at his attempt at a joke, saying, “No.”

“Put that birthing bar by bio-bed one, and get out of my sickbay, ensign,” the Doctor ordered.

Ensign Kim complied, clapping Tom on the shoulder and bidding him, “Good luck, Dad,” as he walked gladly out of sickbay.

“You don’t call me ‘dad;’ that’s weird,” Tom called over his shoulder before focusing on Kes as he asked, “Are you alright? How can I help?”

Kes smiled thinly at him, trying to ignore the increasingly-painful need to stretch her shoulders as she pointed out, “I think you’re more frightened then I am. You can help yourself by remembering to breathe.”

Captain Janeway bit back an amused smile as she looked at Tom while coming up to Kes, sliding a supporting arm around her waist. “We know we need you at the birthing bar, correct?”

Kes nodded, allowing herself to lean into the captain as they went to the bar. She didn’t particularly need the physical support the captain offered, but it was nice – comforting, in a way that she wanted to imagine her mother’s presence would’ve been right now.

“Ensign Wildman,” the Doctor directed, taking real charge now that people needed to get into position. “Take that blanket, put it somewhere, and bring back the birthing kit the four of us put together earlier this week.”

Ensign Wildman – acting as nurse, since Kes was currently filling the role of patient – nodded and did as instructed.

The Doctor grabbed a tricorder, running it quickly between Kes’ shoulders as he told Tom, “I don’t know if anyone’s told you yet or not, lieutenant, but your job here is to catch your second-born. That would require you getting your frozen legs to work and joining us by the mother of your children.”

The acid in the Doctor’s tone got Tom moving, and he stood on one side of Kes while Captain Janeway stayed at the other, the Doctor stayed at her back, and Ensign Wildman prepped bio-cradles a few paces away. 

“It hurts,” Kes admitted, asking the Doctor, “When am I going to be ready to push?”

“One more minute…” Ensign Wildman said. “And I’ll have the first cradle ready.”

_ Ready… Were they really ready to have a baby?  _ Kes wondered. _Two, in fact?_ She looked to Tom, her eyes growing glassy with pain and worry and tiredness, and _then_ she began to worry.

“Hey,” Tom cooed, seeing the look on her face. He brushed her hair out of her face as she started to sweat, pressing a kiss to her temple. “It’s okay. You’ve got this.”

“Remember the breathing exercises we’ve gone over,” the Doctor recommended practically.

“I don’t know if I can do this…” Kes whispered.

“Of course you can,” Captain Janeway said, firm and kind and having absolutely none of Kes’ last-minute nerves as she rubbed Kes’ shoulder. Strangely, the gesture helped ease the cramping there, allowing the muscles to move in the way her body instinctually wanted them to without accomplishing anything for the moment. “Besides, you’re far past the time allowed for that misgiving, aren’t you?”

“The first cradle’s ready,” Ensign Wildman announced, moving onto the second. She glanced up at Kes, offering one more word of affirmation as she said, “And so are you and Lieutenant Paris.”

“I dearly hope so,” the Doctor added. “Because it’s time for you to push, Kes.”


	8. Chapter 8

“Ten fingers, ten toes, and as healthy as they come,” the Doctor announced, beaming as he handed a baby girl to Kes where she now sat propped up in a bio-bed. 

“She’s beautiful, Kes,” Captain Janeway said softly, running a fingertip over the tuft of downy blonde hair that stuck out of the edge of the blanket the baby was wrapped in. 

“Same here, Doc,” Tom said, glancing away from where he’d been personally seeing to his second-born child. He scooped the baby boy into his arms, carrying him to Kes’ side with a gentle bounce in his step – a natural at parenthood, just like Kes had always, instinctively known he would be. “Ten fingers, ten toes, perfectly healthy… and as handsome as his father, if I may say so myself.”

“You may,” Kes replied with a chuckle, sitting up straighter to better see her son for herself. 

Tom met her in the middle, leaning down with the baby far enough that he could kiss her. “You’re amazing,” he breathed.

“I’m a sweaty mess,” Kes protested with a laugh.

“You are a _mother_ ,” Tom replied, giving voice to the awe that they were both feeling. “And I am a father, and we are parents, and that is amazing, and you did this, so you are amazing. So there.”

Kes just kept grinning, leaning over into Tom as he sat beside her on the edge of the bed.

“What are their names?” Captain Janeway asked curiously.

“This is Linnis,” Kes answered, gazing down at the daughter that she already adored.

“And this is Ben,” Tom added of their son. “After Kes’ father.”

“Welcome to _Voyager_ , Linnis, Ben,” the captain said. She paused, adding as the thought occurred to her, “And welcome to a new year, everyone.”

“Happy New Year, captain,” Tom replied before kissing Kes’ forehead and saying, “Happy New Year, sweetheart.”

_ Indeed, it was _ , Kes thought, looking between Tom and their children. This had been an undeniably wild month, but already this new year was shaping up to be her best one yet, and she couldn’t wait to see what happened in her life next.

* * *

Kes stayed in sickbay with Tom and the twins for the next twenty-four hours – under observation at _his_ request, she patiently reminded the Doctor whenever he became frustrated with the steady stream of visitors who kept coming in to see the little family. Ensign Kim, Commander Chakotay, even Lieutenants Tuvok and Torres, were among their visitors, bringing little gifts or – in Lieutenant Tuvok’s case – some genuinely well-thought-out words of parental advice. 

Kes didn’t realize she was waiting for a particular visitor until Tom said carefully, “You know he may not come, right? It’s not exactly normal for people to be _that_ buddy-buddy with their exes.”

“I don’t see why not,” Kes replied. “Just because we’re not together anymore doesn’t mean we don’t still care about each other, that we don’t still know each other very well. I told him I wanted to stay friends, and I meant it, and he knows I meant it. I know him… and I know he’ll come.”

“Maybe I hope you’re right,” Tom admitted.

“Right about what?”

The question caught them both off-guard as they turned to the sickbay doorway to see— “Neelix! We were just talking about you.”

Neelix’s cheerful tone faltered as he stood there with a green giftbag in hand, saying, “Good things, I hope.”

“Always,” Kes promised, smiling kindly at him as she waved for him to come in.

“I have these for the twins,” Neelix said, putting the giftbag on the edge of Kes’ bed between her and Tom as he leaned closer to Kes, getting a good look at Ben in her arms. “They’re adorable,” he said, waving his fingers at Ben and watching the way the baby could already follow the movement with his eyes.

“Thank you,” Kes answered.

“Let’s see what Uncle Neelix has here, Linnis,” Tom said, tugging a sheet of tissue paper free of the bag before he pulled out two silky yellow blankets.

“Neelix, they’re perfect!” Kes praised. “They even match the cradles set up in my quarters.”

“I had hoped they might,” Neelix said pleasantly, but Kes could still read his face as easily as her own handwriting; she knew the growing storminess in his eyes, and she knew what was coming next before he blurted solemnly, “I’m sorry.” He glanced back at Tom, including him in the declaration as he added, “To both of you. I… know I haven’t been the best sport recently, or, for that matter, the best person in general, and I’m sorry. My behavior’s been very unbecoming of me, but I’m working on it, and… and I’m genuinely happy that you’re both happy. So, if you’re offer to remain friends still stands, I’d like to take you up on it.”

Kes smiled kindly at him, nodding as Tom did, too. “Of course it still stands.”

Neelix visibly relaxed, and Kes found that she was glad he still could relax around her and Tom as she offered as an easy way to move on – and hopefully into a new and better phase of her relationship with him – “Would you like to hold a baby?”

With typical Neelix exuberance, he was reaching for Ben almost before she’d finished the question, baby-talk already leaking into his tone as he said, “Oh, you know I would!”

_ Maybe, _ Kes considered, _that was something that she would never change. After all, just as she’d instinctively known how great a father Tom would be, she was thrilled that her children would apparently have their fun Uncle Neelix as well._

Her life now wasn’t anything like what she would’ve imagined even a couple months ago, but now that she was here, Kes wouldn’t have it any other way.

* * *

_ Four months later _

Captain Janeway put her chin in her hands, looking with sparkling eyes and a bitten-back smile of amusement at the two crewmen across from her. “I don’t suppose it would do any good to remind you both that you haven’t even been together for half a year?”

“No, ma’am,” Tom said resolutely, his own determined smile staying firmly in place.

“We’ve known each other twice that long,” Kes pointed out.

“And, for goodness sake, we have children together, we moved in together a couple months ago,” Tom tapped the captain’s ready room desk as if that would help drive his point home, knowing he was right as he declared, “You knew this was coming.”

Captain Janeway cleared her throat as Kes studied her a little more shrewdly before she took the next leaping guess and said, “And you’re nearly as happy about the idea as we are, aren’t you?”

The captain ran her tongue along her teeth, letting herself smile broadly now as she stood, hands spreading as she said, “It seems useless to argue with anything that you’re saying, so I won’t. To answer your question, Kes, yes, I am very happy for you both.” She rounded her desk to put a hand on each of their shoulders as she faced them once more. “I like you both… and I like you both together. So, to answer the original question you two posed, it would be my honor to officiate your wedding aboard _Voyager_. Just tell me when to show up, and I’ll gladly be there to do my part.”

“What if we could get the ceremony ready by tomorrow afternoon?” Tom asked impulsively, reaching for Kes’ hand as he added, “I don’t want to wait any longer than I have to.”

“Well,” Captain Janeway blinked as Kes smiled up at Tom, thinking that some of her determination to always seize the day had clearly rubbed off on him in their time together. “I would say two things: one, that… that seems rather par for the course you two have taken so far, so… two: let’s get you two married!”

Captain Janeway grinned even as she shook her head, and Kes let out a joyful exclamation as she hugged Tom tightly. Tom tilted her chin up, kissing her right there in the captain’s ready room before he repeated happily, “Let’s get married.”

…So, they did.


End file.
